The revival of the rhubarb (or, a Rheum rendition of "I will survive")

Warbled (badly) to the tune of Gloria Gaynor’s “I will survive”

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Brought home from RHS Wisley (that plant shop outside)
And then I spent all winter long, feeling sorry for myself
In the cloche I’d hide, feeling safer there inside
I took my time, I will survive
For a while there I looked small and dead and seemed to fail to thrive
But now the spring light’s here to stay, and Catherine’s doubts have gone away,Β 
The rhubarb is fine, and most certainly alive, hey hey!

It took all the strength I had, not to fall apart
But instead to grow those leaves that are so tangy tart
And I spent oh so many nights, sending roots into the soil
I used to toil, but now I’m back up on the boil
And you see me, some Rheum that’s new
I’ve got great big strong leaves to offer up to delight you
And so just trust in all my growth and wait until it’s harvest time
Pies will be fine! As will liquor for sparkling wine!
I will survive! Rhubarb alive!Β 


Da da da da da daaaaaaaa da dum da dum da dum da da da daaaaaaaaaaaaaaa da dum da dum da dum

(Repeat ad infinitum)

In short, my rhubarb in my side return raised beds is no longer dead-looking but has sprung to life, like a rather slow-moving leafy zombie! That said, the three plants that I have appear to each be progressing along the Lazarus trail to harvest at different speeds. Victoria is doing very well, Timperley Early is doing more or less OK (I can see new shoots so I’m happy even though they’re a bit white and rubbish looking) and the Champagne admittedly still looks dead-ish but I’m going to hold out hope for it. The zombie rhubarb will not be beaten!










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We farm a three acre smallholding in Hampshire, England, having fled London in pursuit of the good life for our little family. We mess about with an assorted menagerie and try to be as self-sufficient as possible in meat and fruit and vegetables whilst enjoying our plot and an outdoors lifestyle with our son. I am the luckiest person that I know.

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